No Strings Attached

So here is something not everyone knows about me but don’t mind sharing. I have been using online dating for years with varied success and there is something that I see all the time that always gets me thinking. NSA, no strings attached is something you see very often online and it always makes me chuckle a little and at the same time makes me sad. You see the idea of no strings attached is a logical fallacy and its one that permeates our society as a whole. NEWSFLASH, nothing in this life comes without strings or as I like to call them, consequences.

Let’s stop calling them strings, it sounds pleasant, and that’s the idea, lets remove the comforting notion of consequences as delicate strings binding us together and acknowledge what they are. Everything we do on a daily basis comes with consequences, whether it is the way we deal with people, the way we choose to spend money, the food we eat, the car we drive, it all has an effect on others in ways we do not always perceive in our immediate lives. The reason I chose to write about consequences is because I feel as a society we try to insulate ourselves from the responsibility of the consequences originating from our actions. We hide behind the notion that if we set out to do something with “no strings attached” that we have given enough of a disclaimer that the resulting fallout is not our problem. Hell, the entire sub-prime lending failure can be seen as an NSA arrangement where the initial sale was full of hidden strings unseen to the participants but which eventually rose to the surface and entangled everyone involved….including those not involved.

Dating is no different but provides an excellent example psychologically of our inability to see the hidden “strings” we create whether we like it or not. The truly disturbing part of all of this isn’t the fact that people cant see the resulting damage caused by the consequences of their actions, but the fact that they were seeking a consequence free reality in the first place. Why is it that our society revels in the idea of a “never-never land” existence in which actions have no lasting consequence, we do not age, and no one has to make adult decisions. At what point did we start idolizing the life of small children and their udder lack of responsibility.

I wish for one day our society would stand up and say, “I am an adult and will make decisions with consequences, some right and some wrong, but will accept the results of those decisions and their consequence.” I want to hear everyone in LA say these words and actually think about what that means because I genuinely don’t think at present, the people where I live have any idea of this concept.

The bottom line is, if you or someone you know thinks that NSA is a viable way of doing business, dating, conducting yourself with friends, or just about anything else in life, pass this simple message along for me…GROW UP